Matthew Perry, your book changed my life. It also reaffirmed and reinforced my love for the most amazing journey of recovery that I, myself, have been on for the last fifteen years. I think you are such a beautiful and brilliant, brilliant soulful soul. I felt compelled to check out your book (and story) after I saw, again, another article about the doctors who sold you your ketamine. That afternoon, I recorded a journal entry about what I thought about your final days...Your book was full of incredible emotional nuggets!!! I especially loved how you said that you'd trade places, anytime, with any of the other characters in one particular part of your journey. That was so powerful to me. But, I wonder, now -- with the magical essence of YOU floating around and affecting so many lovely people here, if you feel the same way? In whatever realm you exist in. I think that your journey was perfectly designed for YOU and that even that particular passage you wrote on that page that I highlighted... had you had switched places or thought that thought, I and WE never would have read those words on that page...In short, I found every passage and every shared moment in your book to be part of an incredible three days spent reading all about your very, very rare and incredible quest. I think you are such a lucky and blessed human being to be able to go through all of those great arcs - those "peaks and valleys" a friend of mine calls them...... such that you would end up in your quiet pool... in, who cares, whatever state you were in at that point. It was a COSMIC CONVERGENCE of a moment for you. When all of the great spirits and gods watching over you were there to CELEBRATE YOU!!! This is, on my own wonderful journey, what I believe happens the moment that you transcend. Like this great darkness falls upon us and a curtain opens in several ways... and all around YOU come all of these amazing figures who have been watching and following your story to welcome you.I hope that the movie they played on the big screen for everyone who showed up that night for you was everything you thought it would be - I mean, how could it not be with your life. I LOVED your book so much!!!Thank you for sharing your life with us Matthew Perry. ❤️❤️❤️💫-Eriq
Listening to this audiobook was a bit haunting. Hearing Matthew Perry's voice, but knowing he's gone was haunting. Alcoholism and drug addiction are terrible diseases! Perry is honest, humble, and sometimes funny (not surprising given who we're talking about) in his memoir. Perry beat his addictions so many times and so many times, they came back to beat him. He knew what he was facing. He kept falling down but, he kept getting up and kept fighting. But as we all know, in the end the addiction beat him. That just makes me so sad.
You were so rooting for him to succeed and in every way he just really didn't. Although he was a great entertainer, his story was so tragic it was hard to read about.
Matthew Perry played by favorite Friends character and at the time never realized what he was going through. As he said, he had it all so why would you expect all the drugs and heartbreak. This book was well written and gave great insight into his life and just how troubled he really was. A few years ago I wanted to believe he beat his addiction, but considering how he died and what was reported in the press I don't think he ever did.
It’s a little overwhelming in places especially because after watching Chandler Bing grow up on friends you’d hope the same for Matthew Perry. It’s an honest and authentic picture of addiction. The timeline is super wonky and sometimes hard to follow but even that seems to be authentic in the books approach to helping capture the essence of addiction and its cyclical affect on you and the rose around you.
I liked this book so much in written form that I bought an audio version as well to read it a second time. Matthew Perry is very open about his life and the difficulties he has dealt with his whole life. It is totally worth reading but it can be difficult to get through with the descriptions of his drug use. But I definitely recommend this book for those who can handle it.
Reading this for the first time after Matthew Perry has passed gives his book an even deeper and more touching meaning. I think it is good for anyone who is just interested to learn about him, addiction, a different look on life, or toast somethings you may not have already known.
It put a face on the name of addiction. I always like Chandler in “Friends” but has no concept on addiction. This is a sad life story, especially in light of the sudden death of the author. His life was cut short by addiction but he had fought hard. He had done so much despite that. I cannot help wondering how much he could have done without it. Who knows, what makes him hilarious and talented may also make him vulnerable to drugs.
It's honest, open, and unashamedly real. Perry doesn't hold back from punching himself in the face for things he's done. His pain is out there ... and so is the lifestyle he had as a member of the Friends group. If you loved Chandler, bear in mind that Perry is not his character... Perry is Perry. At least meet him where he was at, and accept that yearning for and achieving fame are not the same things. A good read if you're willing to let "Chandler" go.
I was a huge fan of Friends. Watched it every Thursday at 8:30. So been wanting to read this and hear his story. This just shows no money or fame can cure that hole you have inside you. This also, don’t just scream addiction but men’s mental health and what it can lead into and or prevent you from letting in your life. I’m glad he shared his story and tried to help people and still is helping people with this book. It takes a lot to share a story like this. But I think it great that he’s letting people know, money won’t solve that emptiness you have inside you or the voices in your head. R.I.P Chandler M.P.
I think this is my first memoir. I don’t gravitate to memoirs but this one has been nagging at me. I LOVE Friends, I watch it all the time, it’s my comfort show. I didn’t want to read this because I didn’t want it to change the show for me. When he died, I cried, and I never cry for celebrity deaths.It’s more of his character on Friends. I read this book and was devastated and utterly heartbroken on his battle with addiction. He tried so hard and this disease had such a hold on him. Ultimately, it caught up and he lost his life. Which made this book even harder to read.I won’t rate a memoir who am I to rate a man’s life. But his determination to always try to fight was admirable and again so sad that it took him.
I couldn’t put this book down. As a longtime fan of Matthew Perry, I’ve followed his career through its highs and lows—but Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing offers a deeply personal, behind-the-scenes look at his life and career.This isn’t just a celebrity memoir—it’s a raw, brutally honest, and often heartbreaking journey through addiction, fame, and recovery. Perry writes with self-awareness and surprising humor, even in the darkest moments. He doesn’t sugarcoat anything, and that’s what makes it so powerful.Whether you’re a fan of Friends, curious about the realities of addiction, or just appreciate a well-told human story, this book is worth your time. You’ll come away with a deeper understanding of the man behind Chandler Bing—and maybe a little more empathy for anyone fighting a battle you can’t see.Highly recommend. It's moving, memorable, and stays with you long after the last page.
Rating: 4/5 StarsPros:"Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" offers a deeply personal and touching exploration of the author's life journey. The memoir is beautifully written, with raw honesty and vulnerability that pulls you into the author's world from the very first page. One of the strongest aspects of this memoir is its ability to capture the complexities of relationships - from the highs of friendship to the depths of heartbreak. The author's storytelling is compelling and immersive, making it easy to empathize with their experiences.Cons:While the memoir is captivating overall, there were moments where the pacing felt slightly uneven. Some sections delved into intricate details that may not resonate equally with all readers, potentially slowing down the narrative flow. Additionally, a bit more context or background information in certain chapters could have provided a clearer understanding of the author's motivations and decisions.Conclusion:With its heartfelt storytelling and profound insights, this is a memoir that leaves a lasting impression. While not without its flaws, it offers a deeply moving and relatable exploration of the human experience. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a compelling and introspective read.
No lo terminé. Apenas leí las dos primeras páginas y sé que estoy frente a alguien que vivió horrores, que la tuvo que pelear tantas veces, que nos hizo reir un montón pero en el medio de sus infiernos personales. La resiliencia de Matthew me deja sin palabras. Y ni bien lo tuve en mis manos, leí apenas unas páginas y supe lo que siempre supe desde que lo conocí por Friends, esta persona es ORO para el mundo.El mundo le festejó sus risas pero no estuvo ahi como el estuvo para nosotres. Algo que me va a doler para siempre, pese a que la geografía y un montón de cosas hicieron imposible estar para él de manera significante.Espero que haciendonos reir una parte de tu corazón haya latido con vida y haya, por lo menos un ratito, paleado ese dolor que llevaste siempre, Matt.Te queremos y tus fans, tus fans verdaderos, te queremos por como sos, seguimos tu vida, quisimos saber mas de vos, nos dimos cuenta de tus cambios en Friends, nos preocupamos por tu salud y tratamos de saber qué pasaba detrás de esas risas increibles, esas risas que te doblan el estómago y como dice Lisa, te hacen sentir que vas a morir.Me duele muchisimo que hoy tenga este libro en forma póstuma porque en el comienzo el advierte que podes estar leyendo este libro con él fallecido.Estoy segura de que él esta en paz, de que su sufrimiento acabó, de que le dejó al mundo el legado mas precioso de todos: su alma, su corazón y su historia para ayudar a otras personas. Friends es atemporal y vivirá siempre en nuestros corazones pero este libro nos conecta con la persona que fuiste antes, durante y después de Chandler. Y ojalá eso nos haga pensar en que detrás de los actores y actrices hay seres humanos, probablemente pasandola mal, por presiones tanto de sus trabajos como de su fama, como de no poder ni caminar sin un fotografo en la cara.Espero que Matthew finalmente enseñe a mucha gente a entender que detrás de alguien que nos hace tanto bien hay un ser humano y que si tanto lo admiramos y queremos no podemos estar consumiendo basura que nos mete la prensa, o saltando histericamente por un autografo. Soy la primera en reconocer que hubiese caido desmayada si lo hubiese visto en persona. Pero por favor, son seres humanos, nos alegran y hacen bien al corazón por algo de nuestras vidas, por nuestros propios infiernos, asi que respetemoslo como ellos nos respetan a nosotros y nos dan lo mejor de si mismos. No nos deben sus vidas privadas, pero este actor, este ser humano, nos la está dando.Respeten a Matthew y dejen de consumir cosas que dicen que "solo quería vender un libro" ¿En serio? ¿En serio eso es lo que vos sentis cuando ves una entrevista donde se le nota el profundo dolor y vacio? ¿En serio pensas eso cuando once meses después fallece? ¿Para que quiere la plata? ¿Para que quiere la fama? Eso mismo es lo que cuenta en este libro, que todo lo que quizo jamás le lleno el vació existencial que en algun momento todos tenemos.RESPETO a este y a cualquier ser humano que nos da el privilegio de compartir su historia. Mas respeto y menos (cero) tabloides.Matthew Perry es un ser humano con todas las letras. Por favor, sean como el y cualquiera que crea que todo esto es mentira, lejos esta de entender lo que es ser un ser humano y entender el dolor ajeno. Seguramente lejos esta de entender el suyo propio. Gente alienada por cosas irrelevantes sin conectar con lo realmente importante. Esta persona se fue del mundo fisicamente pero dejandolo todo, vos, que tanto lo criticas ¿que estas aportando para mejorar a la humanidad? ¿que estas aportando para que el mundo mejore? ¿veneno?.El veneno solo te consume a vos, no a quien crees envenenar. A él ya lo envenenó su infierno, no creas que lo que digas sobre él le hubiese importado algo.Saludos y espero todos puedan disfrutar esta joya de humano que fue, y siempre será. Y mis respetos profundos por todo el elenco de Friends que siempre estuvo ahi como una familia, como la que biologicamente no tuvo, porque muchos sabemos que la familia se hace y no se nace.
I was a Jr. in High school when introduced to this actor named Matthew Perry. And every Thursday night, I tuned in to watch him and our other 5 Friends, ritually, for 10 years. At this time in my life, events in my own life were shaping me in ways I would have to wait at least 30 years, to discover I walked a parallel road with Matty. I have had over 20 surgeries and the scars to prove it. I did not have the extremes Matty did, I of course didn't have $80+ million to have that expensive of habit. I did and have still to this day, those few, touchstone friends, the ones I've lied to and betrayed over and over again. How they continued to Love me and Forgive me always, I only know now, as the most sincere, unconditional love there is. I had actual Angels on earth assigned to me that I am very grateful and thankful for. I'm honestly lucky I'm here today to state this fact.My addictions and sobriety have always been a never-ending rollercoaster for me, always drastically one way or the other. I never did anything half-assed! It was always all or nothing. Every time I'd hear on the news, the world has lost a great entertainer, too young, to Alcohol or Drugs, they never went without notice and reflection of my own trials. Did it ever stop me or wake me up? Of course not! Not until I lost my Friend, whose career and life I always kept an eye on because he felt like "The One I could always connect to IRL."It was my daughter that alerted me to Matthew Perry's death. Tears fell when she wasn't looking, and as soon as I got home, I cried and cried and cried. I posted to FB, something I don't do btw, my post was simple; I feel like I just lost my friend from High School. It took a week for me to finally buy his book, but another month to read it. Why??? Because I KNEW it was going to hurt like a son-of-a-bitch! Because he's always been my example of what my life will be one day. Knowing his experiences with every Prescription were the same ones I loved the most. The fear of Heroin that has always scared me to death as well because I knew I'd love it too much! Vodka, my choice of alcohol and always stocked in the house. The fact I would and have always intentionally been the one to hurt anyone I came close to loving, before they had a chance to hurt and leave me. Even my Bestest of friends and lovers who are still "There for Me". I have never felt like I am enough to make someone happy. Why would I when my own parents couldn't find it within them to love me more than their own selves and their addictions. I always felt I had to be the life of the party because I needed to see I made people happy! That they were enjoying me being with them.Like I said, aside from the $80+ Millions and having half the world love me, we ran a parallel life.I own the book, which immediately took to be the only picture of someone in my home. But I also bought the Audible because the thought of hearing his words... I knew it would have a more impact on me. And I wasn't wrong...It took me 3 days to get through it, because of nightmares that came, Tears that would just take everything out of me. Something I did NOT know however, was that we both have the most peace when we are in front of the Pacific Ocean and his words to describe it, have always been the exact same words as mine.I absolutely crumbled during the last chapter. Not because my life was bad. But because I have also found the peace, Love, and acceptance that Matty had found. And now... Now I'm keeping Friends on a constant loop in my house. For the laughs that they all meant for us to have. To keep on my path of happiness and love. Along with Matty, hopefully not alone.Mathew, Thank you for being my Friend!
There are some books you want to look through the reviews before you decide if you want to pick it up or not, then there are others you just want to read for yourself. Matthew's book was one that I wanted to read for myself. Though in looking through the reviews now that I have finished it, I realize either someone loves it or does not, there is no in-between it seems.Before I write any more of my review - I want to point out that I am 99.9% certain I read a Kindle version that was edited to remove whatever there was about Keanu. So if someone is reading my review wondering why I don't mention it, I cannot comment on what I did not read. --- One more observation, from the reviews I did look through, it seems that most people who *listened* to the book disliked it more than those who *read* it. Seems listening to it make it more difficult to follow the already jumping timeline. Again, just my observation.From the beginning Matthew tells us how this story is going to be written/told. How? you ask? "Groundhog Day" is his favorite movie, do I really need to say anything more? If you do not understand this reference, please take the time (1 hour and 40 minutes) to watch the 1993 classic movie with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. Then perhaps more things will make sense for you.Thankfully I have never been an alcoholic or an addict, however, I have known several in my life. For them every day is groundhog day. Every morning the question of, "How will I get through today without a drink/pill/smoke/etc." makes every 24 hours the same. Matthew shows that in spades with his repetition throughout his story. Many of the reviews I saw complained about the repetition; if they don't understand it, perhaps they should count themselves lucky not to. To have never known someone who lives every day like this; or to not be that person themselves.Matthew's story didn't end all sunshine-and-rainbows with a happily every after. Not everyone's does. I appreciated the fact that he kept it real. That he kept it honest. That he shows his faults to us just as much as he shows us the goodness. Life isn't always polished and pretty no matter who you are or how much money you have. Matthew proves that. No matter how bad things seemed to be for him, Matthew always looked to his future, he always wanted to be there. Perhaps not always for the right reasons, but reasons that kept him moving forward nonetheless. There is something to be admired about that.Interestingly, one of my favorite lines reads, "God looked down on me, just waiting it out. He's got all the time in the world. F*
The book starts off with a bang, I'll give it that.But from there it was clear either Matthew Perry had no editor or one who didn't want to tell him "no" bc it becomes very stream of consciousness.One of my favorite styles of writing is stream of consciousness but James Young style. Not amazing Friends actor with a Big Terrible past style.I think that unless you're a memoir writer or a biographer you don't know how hard it is to create a story about your life. To have a premise and then to write a middle beginning and end and then put them all together. They don't need to be chronological but they need to make sense.Matthew Perry has great stories but he jumps back and forth between timelines and the stories aren't told comprehensively. Sometimes you're just left wondering both in what timeline you're in and what just happened there. I wish he'd written with ghost writer who could've better told all the stories he stuffed into his book so I could've better understood the great Matthew Perry. Especially bc so many could likely relate. Myself included tho my addiction is not drugs or alcohol the feelings and thoughts are similar. But I was too busy trying to put the pieces of the story together and understand the point he was trying to make.I'm sorry but the book is just not good. It's a quick read at the very least and you get to better understand the background of Matthew Perry. But he spends so much time calling past girlfriends beautiful, lamenting how he could be married with kids, and trying to be funny but it's kind of pathetic.I do hope he finds someone and I hope he stays clean and sober. But I also hope he never writes another book. Stick to scripts my friend.I would pass on this one. I'm glad I got it on sale.
I will start with dislikes first. It is hard to follow sometimes. The structure is a little weird, the timeline bounces around, and there are so many detoxes and rehabs that it’s difficult to keep them straight. I also found myself starting to roll my eyes at an insanely rich, and famous guy who has money, upon money to burn, and throw at pills, and fancy rehabs. I think it’s easy to assume that if he didn’t have all his money he wouldn’t have been able to maintain his addiction, and would no longer be with us.However (comma) this brings me to the likes bit of this review, or more accurately the intermission. I always notice that when a famous person struggles with addiction and/or commits suicide because they are depressed, there’s always someone who says, money doesn’t bring happiness. Like it’s an opportunity to teach that lesson, and/or puts the message out there that happiness making money was what this person was after, completely missing the fact that depression and addiction are diseases. Unfortunately, people commit suicide everyday because of depression, or go to their first AA meeting, it just the famous we hear about. Now back to the review.Matthew Perry admits in his book that in his youth he wanted fame, hoping it would fill holes in his life, or holes he perceived in his life. His upbringing was nice yes, he was loved yes, however, it was the feeling of abandonment that he struggled so much with. His father leaving, his mother working so much, his parents remarrying and having families that he didn’t feel completely apart of all laid the foundation for how he viewed himself. Which is why he struggled with commitment, that led to him leaving relationships before he got left which is what he assumed would happen every time. I like that he tells his story with the perspective that he had at the time. Does it always sound good? No. Does it always make Matthew Perry seem like a great person? No. But most of time it was the fear talking, the immaturity talking, and he grows, eventually, as you read the story. He ends the book in a better place looking forward to the future. I highlighted a line toward the end that is a lesson we all can, and need to learn, addiction or not, “I am me. And that should be enough, it always has been enough. I was the one who didn’t get that. And now I do.”This book is a raw, no holding back, this is how it was warts and all, account of the Matthew Perry story told by Matthew Perry. It’s full of facts but also opinions, and perspectives that should not be taken as fact. Not everyone will like this book, and that’s true with anything. Not everyone will “see” the story Matthew Perry was trying to tell, and that also happens with other things as well.In short, I enjoyed this book. I appreciated Matthew Perry’s honesty, and his love for Chandler Bing, who will always be my favorite.
