Bite Me: A Love Story

Love the author and the previous stories in this series This one, I believe is the final and it went out on a weird, sad note. No spoilers but it wants to tie up any and all loose ends. Unfortunately, it just had too many. Sometimes, I feel that stories do not necessarily have to have a bow ending with detailed reasoning. Maybe I was trying for a happy ever after premise and that’s my fault. As the previous books, it was fast paced and entertaining with lots of twists and turns. Our favorite characters returned along with quirky new ones. We get updates on our regulars and everyone grows or moves on. Highly recommend the whole series so you get the full “Bite” experience.

'Kayso, this thing starts out in first person, and it's like, valley girl patois from the protagonist, Abigail Normal, Emergency Backup Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Night. So, I was all, "WTF? This thing's written in Valley Girl? I dunno if I can do 300 pages of valley girl." And OMG, 'Bite' is another sequel (of which I was pathetically unaware). So, I started out totally confused as a result of not having absorbed vital info from You Suck. Hello?'Kayso, I persevered in spite of all that nerdslice engeekenment, and thank Buddha, the first person valley girl narrative is generously interspersed by entire chapters and passages written in third person when Abby's not around ... and sometimes when she is. I'm getting used to Moore's writing, I guess. 'Kayso, like, here is the Good News: 'Bite' is my most enjoyable read yet from this guy. Being gagged with a spoon I was not. True dat, my mind muffin got, like, *infected* somehow and now I am tragically doomed to an indeterminate fuguelike interlude of thinking and speaking this Dorkese. Hey, Star Trek had me speaking Klingon.The characters really make this one. The emperor of San Francisco and Protector of Alcatraz, Sausalito and Treasure Island is back.(There really was an 'emperor' of the Golden Door. And it was a guy upon whom our emperor is closely based.) Chet the vampire cat; the ninja sword old man savior; white rastadude Kekona; the Animals; the vampyres; off-kilter cop odd couple Rivera and gaybear Cavuto, these all do their thing and (mostly) all end up living happily ever after. Chet is one effed up mess in particular. But he's cool, if you like shaved vampyre cat-turning-into-human who discovers size does matter after humping a number of other vampyre cats to death.R.I.P., Tenderloin District bums and ho's. GTG, l8rs.

I like Moore more with each of his books that I read. This is the third and probably last of the Love Story series. (I would NOT recommend reading this without having read the previous two.)Most of the chapters in this story are told from the perspective of Abby Normal. How Moore learned to write from the perspective of a spoiled suburban adolescent wannabe-goth girl is beyond me but he carries it off perfectly. She is funny, endearing and utterly alien all at the same time.Jody and Tommy take on more mature roles (though it would be hard not to see them that way given the comparison) and finally seem to have grown. The story ends really nicely. It's not the 'happily ever after' that I expected - and in a lot of ways, that makes it better.

In this third book of the Bloodsucking Fiends trilogy, San Francisco is home to hoards of vampire cats that are eating all the homeless people, prostitutes and other denizens of the night. Vampire cats?! Oh, yeah! Just more hilarity from the crazed mind of author Christopher Moore. The book reads as a blog of the vampires' minion, Allison, aka Countess Abby Normal. I don't know what dialect of English she uses but it perfectly meshes with her goth image... sort of a text message teenage argot, and very, very funny.Abby desires to be undead with all her heart and gets her wish by injecting herself with vampire rat's (now it's vampire rats???) blood and then convincing her sister to kill her. It works, but unfortunately she now has a tail. Abby needs to rescue her Dark Lord Tommy so he can help her find his maker, Jody, who disappeared after being accidentally released from her bronze statue prison.The cops and the Animals from the night shift at the Marina Safeway are working with the Emperor of San Francisco and his "men" to find a way to eradicate the plague of bloodsucking cats with a little help from a Chinese grandma who knows where to get an old herbal remedy that will kill the kitties dead. It seems that the ancient Chinese knew all about vampire cats before Europe lived through the Dark Ages.Meanwhile three ancient and dangerous vampires show up with a mandate to get rid of the vampire cats and any human who knows about their existence... and that would be... all the characters in the the book!There's a whole lot of running, climbing, turning to mist, getting naked, hiding in filthy deserted basements, whacko science experiments, sword-slashing, blood-spattering fun.You'll want to keep reading right to the end. Get yourself some caffeine and prepare to make a night of it... and try not to wake up anyone when you laugh out loud at all the undead shenanigans.

This will be short. I don't know where to begin. I've been reading Christopher Moore's books since I was in High school. Blood Sucking fiends was my second one of his and has always been my favourite, up until I bought You Suck. I'm in my third year of college now and just finished Bite Me. I have never been so in love with a group of fictional characters. I can feel my heart breaking a little with having to let them go. Tommy an Jody are probably the ideal couple for me and both are easy to relate too. I could give a full list and heartfelt description about The Emperor, The inspectors, The Animals, Abby and even The Men, but I don't think it's necessary. Anyone who reads this trilogy will fall in love with them, and even the city just as much as I have. This book has made me laugh ( not "lol", actually laugh out loud in public) and cry. I've fallen in love with the characters and even more in Love with Christopher Moore's writing. I'd read just about anything he writes.Honestly, give this book a chance. Only after reading Blood Sucking Fiends, Then You Suck of course. You won't regret it.